Where to begin? I am a love activist, but for the longest time I've been advocating for the growth of others but not my own. I now realize as I have always known, I can't give what I don't have. And right now I need self-love. I've been so blessed to discover consciousness. What is consciousness to me? Becoming my most loving, infinite self. But I struggle with belief. Self belief to be more specific. On a logical level I can see how my unbelief or faith in my lackful self manifests in my life but I seem to hit a wall when it comes to taking the plunge and investing my faith fully in myself.
As a mother, a storyteller, a healer and business owner you would think I have this life thing on lock. I share those sentiments. Every time I think I've gotten over an abundance block or a limiting belief, I end up right where I started.
Last year this time I found myself, broker than broke, my business failing and my family life heavily strained. I had lost my way and was overwhelmed by the voices saying "this is it, this is what you have created; destruction and stagnation". When the worst happens (which in hindsight wasn't that bad) I was forced to look around, take stock of my life and take responsibility for what I had created.
I went into Chule fix your life mode. I was reading, meditating, praying, fasting, listening, doing the Abundance Block course, hayi I was doing the most. And I saw some change, some drastic change. I manged to manifest some financial relief and clarity in my life.
Yet a year later I'm going through the same thing, to a lesser degree. So it led me to believe that there's some more cleaning out of the energetic closet that still needs to be done. So I put on my love gloves to find out where the blockage is. And what does my heavenly Father say to me? "You believe in hard work, in earning life the hard way, You don't believe in the rest I offer". And its true. Unless I strive, sweat, bleed, cry then I believe I don't deserve goodness, love or inner peace.
So this morning I was listening to an energy clearing session with Christie Marie Sheldon and we had to envision our future selves. We had to see ourselves living our best lives. I saw myself in a house that looked like a luxury safari lodge. I was in the kitchen looking at my calendar which included activities like meditation retreat with Deepak Chopra, Love think tank with Oprah, Launch of love centered art in New York, listen my future calendar was an extreme sport in love manifestation!. I was also so sexy in a flowy high slit dress, bare foot and physically fit.
Then we had to ask our future selves how we got to this bliss. I saw a little bird trying to fly out of a net, then the bird (me) broke out of the net as an eagle and flew over some high mountains. Then I felt my future self say, "run to me, I am already you" Immediately I saw/sensed what looked like liquid gold swirling over the front part of my mind and eyes. I felt at ease and instantly relaxed. I believe that this vision is my abundant self coming into physical manifestation.
So as I look for funding to spend a month in Barcelona for a self-nourishing inspired, work/play residency, as I launch my business into the cosmic stratosphere, love my family with all my heart and as I get my body and money right I invite you to witness the transformation. Today I choose me, to have faith in me, to stop procrastinating and press PUBLISH on my best life. High five to my future self for giving me the heads up on how incredible we are and are becoming! I love you chule. Give yourself some love today trust me you deserve it.
