Matthew 10:39: "Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
The above scripture used to scare me to death. What do you mean lose myself? What about all I have become?
I realized that surrender (losing my life) is the best thing I could ever do for the empire I am building. Why? Because “my life” as I have created it so far has been full of pain, fear and belief in lies. It’s been filled with baggage and blame, shame and hiding my light.
So when the LOVE that created the universe says “Give me your life and let me fill it with pure love and light, with truth and abundance in every area”, it now seems foolish to hold on to “a life” that’s been hurting me.
“We come to recognize that God is unlimited in supply and that everyone has equal access. This begins to clear up guilt about having or getting too much. Since everyone can draw on the universal supply, we deprive no one with our abundance. If we learn to think of receiving God’s good as being an act of worship – cooperating with God’s plan to manifest goodness in our lives – we can begin to let go of having to sabotage ourselves” – pg 92 The Artists Way
I am clearly struggling to grasp and BELIEVE the above statement. These past few weeks have been clear signs of undealt with abundance blocks and stories of struggle that I have bought and sold myself.
“Above all, you cannot get them to work in this natural state. Hence, both the horse and the nigger must be broken; that is breaking them from one form of mental life to another. KEEP THE BODY, TAKE THE MIND! But, as we said before, there is an art in long range economic planning. YOU MUST KEEP YOUR EYE AND THOUGHTS ON THE FEMALE and the OFFSPRING of the horse and the nigger. Pay little attention to the generation of original breaking, but CONCENTRATE ON FUTURE GENERATION. Therefore, if you break the mother, she will BREAK the offspring in its early years of development; and when the offspring is old enough to work, she will deliver it up to you, for her normal female protective tendencies will have been lost in the original breaking process” Willie Lynch letter: The Making of a Slave
The above is taken from a speech Willie Lynch, a successful slave ower from Australia made to slave owners in America. The american slave owners were struggling to break and systemize their slaves. I share this in light of the rise of femicide in South Africa. The above is also the inspiration behind W.O.M.A.N a healing story experience for women by women we are launching in August 2017. Heal your women, heal your nation, wound your women, wound yourself. This is what is at stake if I don’t surrender.
On the 17th of May Kutlwano and I attended Karabo Mokoena’s Memorial in Soweto. It was so full we stood outside at one of the side entrances and listened intently from the steps. We heard from an older gentleman that that same day two women’s bodies had been found in Soweto. When Karabo's spiritual mentor from the King’s and Queens ministry group asked us all to pray in tongues the atmosphere took on a thickness. Then one by one people started telling Karabo’s chilling story.
As we drove out the deepest sorrow over took us and we started to mourn the state of our nation. We cried loud, uninhibited soul cries for our brothers who have forgotten their innocence and our sisters in the line of fire. We promised God we will heal our nation no matter what it took. That we are the miracle workers He’s been searching for. We made a pledge that day to dedicate W.O.M.A.N to those who lost their lives from both sides, women and men. (see video here, warning very emotional content)
“Surrender positions our hearts to receive the incredible reward of being fully God's. God won't force his blessings on us. He won't force his presence or his love. He patiently draws us near, hoping that in response to his overwhelming affections we will lay down our lives that we might experience all the wonders he has in store for us. “http://www.first15.org/first15/286-first15-october-13
I am ready to receive because the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Yesterday I had a migraine on my left side, which is where our feminine energy resides, the receiving side. I asked what the migraine was trying to alert me to. I heard “You refuse to surrender, you refuse to receive love and blessings.”
When I thought deeper about my struggle with receiving I discovered that I put trust in myself, in action, in doing. I don’t have real faith or I don’t believe deeeeeeeep down that God is on my side and will bend the sky for me just because he loves me. I’m trying to make myself worthy by suffering through to justify the gift.
Now, weeks after we made our heartfelt pledge the funds for the W.O.M.A.N healing story experience is in jeopardy. For almost a year now we’ve been going back and forth with our funder really struggling with the project manager we’ve been assigned. When it finally came time to sign the contract and get the funding released suddenly another road block appears.
“God has lots of money. God has lots of movie ideas, novel ideas, poems, songs, paintings, acting jobs. God has a supply of loves, friends, houses that are available to us. Very often, when we cannot seem to find an adequate supply, it is because we are insisting on a particular human source of supply. We must learn to let the flow manifest itself where ever it will – not where we will it” - pg 92 The Artists Way
I now recognize that I am shutting off the flow by waiting for validation. I want the supply to come from THIS funder and in the meantime I’m blocking off other partnerships and funders. Like a child trying to grab THAT teddy bear with the machine claw while ignoring the many others up for grabs.
I now remember the pledge I made. A promise to the people of this country that I will create a space for them to mourn, heal, reflect and grow spiritually. I promised my beloved that I will build the Economy of Women, a place for women to love and support each other in their spiritual, emotional, psychological and financial growth. To hold each other accountable for the pledge we will make to love ourselves. (We kick-off tomorrow with a focus group of women to shape this economy, see invite here if you want to join us)
I now remember what’s at stake. I remember that I have been gifted with more than enough talent, networks, love, intelligence, faith, support, money and wisdom to create a miracle and heal our land.
So this week I challenge myself to surrender and receive. To see myself as the infinite being God created me to be.
In fact let’s step out in faith and “flex" our manifesting muscle!
I will:
Receive, all funding due to us for W.O.M.A.N. That money will reflect in our bank account no later than next week.
We will close deals with amazing, high level partners we need for W.O.M.A.N with unbelievable ease by the end of the month.
I will take my family on a much needed family holiday by the end of this month, all expenses paid. (I currently have R900 and something to my name so this will be fun to manifest)
I receive miracles in my life. Like a sunflower rising in the sun, I will soak up abundance like a spiritual sponge. I am putting abundance in my reality field. From today miracles will be my daily bread and anything in the way of that I delete, de-story and un-create it now across all time space realities!
Challenge yourself to surrender and receive love and abundance this week. Let’s see how many miracles we can create together!
